Chapter 5

Sometimes I lie. I lie because it is easier than the truth. It is easier to make something up than run the risk of being judged.
Sometimes I lie because I'm deeply grieving over the loss of my dad that day.
Sometimes I lie because I am afraid of being judged.
Sometimes I lie because it is easier than telling someone I'm having a mini breakdown and I don't know why.
Sometimes I lie because I can't stop crying, and I don't know why.
Sometimes I lie because my heart is racing and all of my focus that day needs to be repeating over and over again "I am okay".
Sometimes I lie because I'm busy trying to silence my irrational thoughts.
Sometimes this is my busy, but people don't understand what this kind of busy is.


And, honestly, I hope there aren't a lot of people in this world that know what this kind of busy is. It is not something we want. It surely isn't something we strive for or want to feel and think the way that we do. But it is "our busy" and I hope one day people will respect this kind of busyness.